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Writer's pictureThe ED Queen

5 Books about the Power of Connection in the Classroom that you Need to Read




One thing we know about educators is that when we know better, we do better. As an educator myself, we are always on the search for the next instructional strategy, thought process, view point or information that can positively impact our practices in the classroom and specifically for our students. Educators are just life long learners!


I find myself an avid reader and I'm always searching for the newest books, authors and paradigm shifts in the world of special education. Specifically in the world of behavior. One thing we know that research has proven over and over again, is that the more positive and meaningful individuals or adults a student has in their life, the more likely they are to overcome challenges, engage in healthy behaviors and succeed. What better way to do that than create positive, intentional and thriving relationships with our most challenging students who need it the most?


But, how? What is the methodology behind creating positive relationships? How can I do that with other students in my classroom who also need that relationship? What relationship-building strategies can I implement that are feasible in the fast-paced, highly-demanding field of education? In this blog, I have listed 5 books you need to read to help foster and develop relationships that develop safety, security and a sense of connection.


  1. Eyes are Never Quiet: Listening Beneath the Behaviors of Our Most Troubled Students by Dr. Lori L. Desautels and Michael McKnight

"Stop asking whats wrong with you and start asking what happened to you?" Dr. Desautels and McKnight focus on the behaviors we are seeing in the classroom and uncover the truth behind those challenging behaviors. The authors talk deeply about adverse experiences and the direct effects on our youth, their brain, the nervous system and how they continue to respond and react within settings and situations. The perspective and mindset shift you experience after reading this book is irreplaceable. Their perspective on our educational and mental health crisis in the schools is followed up with applicable classroom strategies for fostering safe and nurturing classrooms to promote student well-being and success.



2. The Boy Who was Raised as a Dog by Dr. Bruce Perry and Maia Szalavitz


"If we could witness a child's moments of comfort, curiosity, exploration and reward—and his moments of terror, humiliation, and deprivation—we would know so much more about him, who he is and who he is likely to become." I vividly remember reading this book for the first time. This was shortly after my first year of teaching in an elementary EBD or behavior classroom. I was exhausted, frustrated and at a loss as to why my students were struggling. This book was the first book that opened my eyes to the significant impact of trauma on our students and the manifestations that arise and come about as maladaptive and survival-like behaviors. Dr. Perry tells this from a psychiatrist's standpoint, but don't let that prevent you from purchasing this book. The personal reflections, medical information, brain science and the true stories are what make this story applicable for educators. We can all read this book and say to ourselves 'I can connect with this book because I know a child in my classroom who is living these experiences now.'



3. Relationship, Responsibility and Regulation: Trauma-Invested Practices for Fostering Resilient Learners by Kristin Van Marter Souers with Pete Hall


This book told from the perspective of a mental health counselor and a principal, this duo offers practical strategies in the classroom that foster a safe, supportive and trauma-sensitive approach to classroom management. I imagine this would be a great book for special education and general education teachers to read together as a book club or collaborative professional development piece. I find myself continually recommending and mentioning this to teachers who want to dive into practical and applicable strategies that foster student and staff relationships. I also appreciate the perspective of mentioning compassion fatigue and naming self-care strategies and thought processes we as educators should have. Centering around relationships, responsibility and regulation this book is a quick and impactful one to add to your collection. If you want to first read the initial book Fostering Resilient Learners, I would most definitely recommend it as well.


4. The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma by Bessel Van Der Kolk


A psychologist, author and researcher who has spent his career studying the effects trauma has on students and our most vulnerable populations. Much of his work is neuroscience based that dates back to the 1980s as he was at the forefront of one of the first studies to study the impact of trauma on the brain. This book is HEAVY and full of lots of information. There is an emphasis on medical and psychological strategies to mitigate the impact of trauma for many of our students. This book will take a while to get through, however it is worth it!



5.) Connections over Compliance: Rewiring our Perceptions of Discipline by Dr. Lori Desautels


"Many current school discipline procedures are forms of punishment that work best with the students who need them the least." Can you tell I'm a fan of Dr. Lori? I loved this books rendition of rethinking and reevaluating our thought process on discipline as it relates to looking through a trauma lens. Dr. Lori also incorporates her thoughts on the pandemic crisis and the impacts of racial bias and disparities and how it connects to discipline. School discipline is something embedded in our schools and classrooms and Lori's practical strategies, modeling of verbiage and understanding of emotional responses for stressed brains is everything we need to be reading as we shift our minds and practices to included a broader base of knowledge on trauma informed classrooms.



I hope you're able to find one of these books from this list and connect with it in a meaningful way. Whether creating a book club, applying this into department level meetings or during professional learning communities! We are always constantly learning and these books are impactful tools that can continue to shape our practices.


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